Let Them Eat Fat

I am truly conflicted about KFC’s decision (one step ahead of an FDA crackdown) to substitute a “healthier” soybean oil “blend” instead of their usual trans-fats (partially hydrogenated soybean oil, or Crisco, to those of you of a certain age).

The healthy eating advocate in me is, while not turning cartwheels just yet (fat is still fat, and there are oils that are better for your heart), a little happier than before the decision. (And feels much better about the occasional piece of Original Flavor I do eat, albeit with as much of the Original Flavor as I can scrape off.)

But the Libertarian in me is stronger. She’s standing on the steps of some public building, with a firm chin and one upthrust hand, clutching a can of Crisco, saying “Let them eat fat!”

And, unfortunately, she’s probably up there alone, while politically-correct types scuttle away to some trans-fat free zone, and a pigeon circles gleefully above her head.

Hey, I’m a big girl, I’ve been out there on my own before.

Yes, I’ve heard all sides of this issue. The nurse who frets about all the young people she sees with artery blockages, the folks who are indignant about what this “epidemic” is doing to the cost of their health insurance, the ones who say that it is the least educated and poorest among us who eat at the fast-food restaurants that use trans-fats and if we just could get to that population and tell them how unhealthy this is, then everything would be fine and we could feel good about ourselves again and fewer people would die of heart disease.

OK, fine. I get it. Bad fat bad; good fat good. Evil Big Government bad for forcing bad fat down the throats of good people who can’t defend themselves.

Come on, now. Didn’t we just fight this fight about cigarettes? Didn’t the tobacco companies just lose billions and billions of dollars to lawsuits from people dying from lung cancer? Didn’t they up their budgets for public service campaigns discouraging those who are underage not to smoke? Isn’t the government still subsidizing tobacco farms?

Hey…wait a minute here…

But can’t you just imagine a scenario where instead of the tobacco companies, Frito-Lay and ConAgra and McDonald’s will be up on the stand, attempting to defend themselves against a wheezing, 200-pound ten-year-old with a pacemaker and twenty-five lawyers?

Believe me, it’s gonna happen, if it’s not already in the works.

All the while the government is subsidizing companies that create genetically-altered foods that will last longer on shelves and fill starving bellies but at a still-unknown cost to our health.

And that was the original intent of Crisco. It was developed supposedly as a cheaper and healthier alternative to butter, back when one, butter was expensive or unavailable during World War II; and two, when the Food Cops decided that butter was Bad. Here was a brand-new type of fat that kept forever in the cupboard, and when used in processed foods, extended their shelf lives.

And we wanted that once, right?

Yes, until we found out that it was clogging our arteries and raising our LDL or HDL or whatever the heck the bad cholesterol was supposed to be.

The people who want Big Government to “do” something about this problem – are they prepared to pay the cost for processed foods with expiration dates? They will cost more to make and ship, and that will all be reflected in the price of the product. Are they willing to go into a fast food restaurant and pay eight dollars for a hamburger that used to be three? And since our economy does not exist in a vacuum, managers of these restaurants will not be able to give their employees raises. And so on.

No, I don’t want to see wheezing 200-pound ten year olds with pacemakers. I don’t want to see people dying of heart diseases.

But I don’t know how anyone can escape the massive media onslaught that’s been going on for YEARS that says that FAT IS BAD FOR YOU and IT’S NOT GOOD TO TAKE YOUR KIDS TO BURGER KING EVERY DAY OF THE WEEK.

The people who choose to eat fatty food are doing it because they CHOOSE TO. And even though cigarettes are addictive, people who smoke can either CHOOSE to keep smoking or CHOOSE to get help if they want to quit. There’s lots of it out there.

So, the Libertarian with the can of Crisco says, leave them the hell alone.

And if enough people who want to improve their health CHOOSE not to eat at these restaurants or not to eat Doritos, these companies will make less money. And if the companies find out they are losing money because people don’t want to clog their arteries with synthetic crap, then they will CHOOSE to change their recipes accordingly so they won’t lose their market share or go out of business.

Meanwhile, I’ve made my own choice. I’ll have the salad and a grilled chicken breast. Olive oil and vinegar on the side, please.

And if you want the steak with fries, that should be between you and your arteries, and none of Washington’s business.