Taxing my patience

There is a reason that the word "tax" is a verb as well as a noun. And I'm sure that the blogosphere is chock-a-block with entries like this right now, so I'm just adding to the noise, but maybe if we make enough noise all together Horton will finally hear all of us Whos.

Unfortunately, I don't think it will help.

Somewhere in my handy-dandy-oh-so-clearly-written tax instruction manual is a little chart (or there used to be) estimating how long each form should take the average Joe or Jane to complete. In the name of the Paperwork Reduction Act. But I'm sure that whatever government schlub got stuck with this job didn't take into account how the forms are actually completed (by those of us who don't have enough jack for an accountant or Turbo Tax). Did they average in the time it would take to figure out how to fill in the damned form in the first place? The time it would take to find all the receipts required to back up your figures, the time it would take to argue with your spouse about whose responsibility it should have been to keep records and which shoebox he or she put the receipt in? The time it would take for your bank to send you a duplicate 1099 form because SOMEBODY put it in the recycling bin by mistake, the time it would take to download the additional form you didn't know you needed, the time it would take to re-configure all of your math because one spouse or the other (usually the one who is not filling in the forms) finds seventeen last minute deductions, all of which go on the Schedule C form, which some of you might know is the one that you must complete first because it's pretty much needed for every other form?

Christ, it's enough to make you move to Canada. I can understand the frustration of the Norwegian gentleman who was the original owner of our house, who, according to neighborhood legend, got so pissed off about his property taxes that he marched down to the town hall and paid the bill in pennies. For which all of the houses on the road got reassessed.

No wonder all the neighbors wanted to come check us out as soon as we moved in. They wanted to make sure we were normal.

Boy, were they ever wrong.

Anyway. I want to be reimbursed. I want to add up all the time it ACTUALLY took to complete our taxes (including the freaked-out but completely-in-vain search I made for my missing W2 form, which I realized I'd sent in with my disability paperwork and never kept a copy...and yes, my ex-employer sent me a duplicate, which should be in our mailbox as I write this), multiply it by my usual freelance fee and send the government the bill.

If it is required that I do this work - and if I can deduct the money I would have spent for Craig the Accountant to take it on, then why shouldn't I deduct the time I lost from pursuing actual work in order to complete this taxing task?

Makes sense.

But I doubt I'll see that as a line item on the 2006 forms.