And I’ve had enough. Yeah, yeah, I know. It makes the flowers grow pretty. It makes the trees sprout. Yadda, yadda, yadda.
But it makes my life and body miserable. I ache all over and tend to forget that this state is temporary and will eventually pass. Maybe it’s time I went to live in the desert. Or just learned to live with it.
It’s easier when it’s a day at a time. Oh, well, I can say, I’ll get interested in a book or a new project or something and soon enough, the clouds will break and the sun will come out again.
Three days…four days…it’s like slow, steady torture. The steady drip is a drumbeat. The gathering clouds a foreboding of doom. And there’s only so long I can keep my optimism up.
And that’s some heavy drugs…no, just kidding. I can’t take those, either.
So…if anyone has any jokes to share, coping ideas, positive energy left over to throw my way, I’d appreciate it.
Thanks…and here’s to the return of sunnier skies.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
4 comments:
Not a joke, really, but this guy is often amusing and right now he has something up (about Brad and Angelina) that I thought was kinda funny. (Not his best stuff, but funny.)
Hope you are feeling better soon!!
Oh, and if the rain doesn't let up, this boat building site could come in handy. Sorry, I'm embracing my inner child today. Just roll your eyes like everyone else...;)
Masturbation.
That is all.
What's black and white and red and can't fit through a revolving door?
A nun with a javelin through her head!
Okay. So these three guys all appear simultaneously on this big white stairway winding upward through the clouds. Without thinking about it, they turn in unison and start trudging upwards. Above and below them, they can see other people, also trudging upward, towards some glowing destination high above them in the sky.
"Hey," one of them, a good looking young guy with blonde hair and very straight, white teeth, says as they automatically walk up the stairs, "this must be the Stairway to Heaven... wow... all three of us must have died at exactly the same time! That's wild! So how did you guys die?"
The two other guys look at each other and shrug. One of them, a middle aged, pudgy, Italian looking fellow, says "Okay. Well, I hadda heart condition. My foreman knew about it. So today I was gettin some bad palpitations. So I told him and he said 'Tony, go home'. So I did. And I was had just unlocked my door and was goin inside when I heard my wife... um... moaning... you know... sexually. So I lose it and scream in rage and start across the living room. I get down the hall just in time to see this guy in his shorts carrying his jeans in his hand run by me into the kitchen. So I run out. He's nowhere to be seen but the window is open and I look out and see him running down the fire escape. So I'm totally berserk now and without thinking I grab the closest thing, which is the fridge, and somehow I'm so mad I pick it up and heave it out the window at the guy. And then I guess I had a heart attack and here I am."
The third guy, a mild looking fellow who also happens to be blonde like the first fellow, starts violently at this account. "You idiot!" he bellows, smacking the second guy hard in the arm. "I was your neighbor! I was up on the roof of our building sunbathing when I heard the ice cream truck down in the street! So I grab my jeans cuz my wallet's in them and I go pelting down the fire escape and I hear this scream behind me and turn around and BAM! right in the kisser with a frickin' FRIDGE! You ASSHOLE!"
The Italian looking guy is mortified, and desperate to change the subject. Seized by inspiration, he turns to the first, good looking blonde fellow who started the whole conversation. "Uh, yeah, so... um... how did YOU die, dude?"
The handsome fellow looks at the Italian fellow... looks at his former neighbor... smiles nervously... and says, hesitantly: "Well... I was hiding in this refrigerator, see..."
Thanks, everybody. I'm still laughing. And the sun is back.
And here are my two favorite jokes:
Q: What do you get when you cross an elephant with a kangaroo?
A. Great big holes in Australia.
---
"I can't believe this place," says the awestruck man at the Pearly Gates. "Do I really get to stay?"
"That depends," St. Peter says. "What did you do during your life?"
"Well," he begins. "I was a top executive at an HMO."
"OK, so we'll keep you for two days and then you go to Hell."
Post a Comment