The Shots Heard ‘Round the World

Mark McGwire said it best: “You still have to put the bat on the ball.”

Yes, I’m against steroids. One, it’s a cheap trick that creates an unlevel playing field, (to use a sports cliché that has been embarrassingly co-opted by political pundits) pitting players with the means and the will against those who want to earn their stats cleanly. Two, it’s a terrible health risk. Who knows all the long-term ill effects these things will have, especially some of the new “designer” aids like Human Growth Hormone and the like? Is it a sudden coincidence that more and more athletes are developing cancers at disturbingly young ages? Say what you want about today’s players being overpaid whining divas, but you can’t deny the intense pressure they are under to perform. We of the 24 hour news channel and the ever-dwindling attention span and too often disappointed by the seemingly good guy with the black heart, we want our heroes. We want guys like Barry Bonds and Big Mac and Sammy and Jose Canseco to whack one in to the stratosphere. The game, as echoed by sports analysts and TV commentators and people spoiled by instant everything, has gotten boring. We want more home runs. We want more action. We want the whole damn thing to move a little faster.

But in my opinion, there is nothing boring about baseball. Yes, the pace can be slow, but so is a chess game, and both, to me, in the hands of the masters, can be just as fascinating. The rules were not designed for speed. If they were, then baseball would be metered in measurable periods with time limits, like basketball and football.

Baseball is summer. It’s kick back time. It’s on the radio as the landscape of a hot day working around the yard, relaxing with a cold drink, taking a drive, or just hanging around doing not much of anything. It’s getting all your homework, chores, laundry, to-do lists out of the way so you can watch your team that night, with their ace on the mound, trying to snatch one from their rivals.

Yes, some would argue that they make more money than they deserve. Yes, our society should value teachers and scientists (and writers) more highly. But give these guys some credit for the poetry and magic they create. I give them credit for sticking it out for 126 games. It can be hard and brutal work, especially if, like so many, they are playing hurt. While I’ve never been a professional athlete, I was an amateur one, (I ran long distance indoor track in college, and raced a number of 10Ks before my body said it had had enough). A hell of a lot more goes into your performance than what you bring to the meet. You train every day. Miles more than you’ll ever race in competition. You do wind sprints and crunches and lift weights until you think you’ll be too tired to ever move again. Watch Derek Jeter execute one of his perfect grab, spin and release moves at second. I’m willing to bet you he’s got abs of steel. And this doesn’t come from a bottle. The shot in the ass doesn’t buy you agility, or speed on the basepaths, or a perfectly laid-out bunt. It doesn’t buy you reflexes, or the athletic smarts to know, all in a single second, if you should just hold onto the catch you made while diving face-first into the dirt or try for the out at the plate.

That, to me, is magic that doesn’t come from a bottle.