Brain-dead Friday

Top Nine Reasons $90,000 in cash was wrapped in aluminum foil in William Jefferson’s freezer:

1. It’s where he kept his extra FEMA money for Katrina victims.
2. He ran out of Saran Wrap.
3. Emergency cash left over from Y2K.
4. Burglars would look under the mattress first, of course.
5. He hadn’t defrosted his freezer since the Clinton administration.
6. “That explains the six hundred t-bones rotting in my safe,” said his butcher.
7. “Walking around” money left over from the last presidential election.
8. It’s old tradition started by Huey Long – every new electee begins his administration with a wad of cash in the freezer. If it’s still there when you’re up for re-election, the party bosses either make you leave quietly or leak the “find” to the press.
9. Since he was on the “Ways and Means” committee, it was an honest mistake, because in Louisiana politics, if you’ve got the means, you can get the ways. He was only doing his job.