Athletic Club Faux Pas

I've started taking Aqua Jogging classes at the Y. It's lots of fun (the classes, not the Y as much), and it's helping to improve my strength and endurance.

But, as in any public place where people take their clothes off, some of the patrons can be a little...let's say...eccentric.

Like this one lady. I had just finished my swim and was walking from the pool's entrance to the hot tub through the narrow walkway between the shallow end and the wall. The width is about two feet of slippery tile. But smack in the middle of the walkway is this gigamundo red gym bag. Not the usual gigamundo size of the ones used by the aerobic queens; this looked like something that minor league ball players took on road trips. And I'd just watched her shove it there (she'd popped up from her lane, gotten something out of it, then pushed it--not quite far enough to clear the walkway, but leaving it smack in the middle.) I made my way around it, but by that time, she was halfway through her lap back to the deep end.

Then I nearly trip on the bag on my way back. She is still in the pool.

Then (and I have no idea how she did this; perhaps she's a witch, or has the superpower to turn back time...or to make her magic bag expand to annoying proportions when in the proximity of others) I went back to the locker room to shower, and started for my favorite stall, when I saw her bag inside of it. The bag was there, but she wasn't. Now, I've done a bit of shower-hogging (some days you just need to marinate a little longer) but I've never done it during prime time hours, and I've NEVER done it to "save" the shower stall while I., say, go to use the sauna. That's just rude.

I find another, and when I'm done, I nearly trip over the bag again...she's left on the floor, blocking the corridor to the changing room. I've had enough by this point.

"Listen," I said. "I've nearly tripped over that bag at least three times since I've been here..."

And she just throws up her hands, giving me this look that says, "my life is totally out of my control." She shoves it out of the way with her foot and apologizes. "Sorry," she says. "And I'm a really bad driver, too."

I gave her a ten minute head start before I left the parking lot.

So if you happen to see a skinny chick with a mound of gray hair driving a car with a big-ass athletic bag hanging out the back of it, make sure you give her lots of room.