Politics Is Ugly, Part 1

Whichever political pundit coined these few weeks before Election Day as the “silly season” definitely had it right. And it seems that each year it gets sillier and sillier.

For example, in New York State (those of you not from New York or those of you who don’t care about politics might want to go power-wash smashed pumpkin and shaving cream from your front porches), the race for Attorney General is getting downright ridiculous. The seat is being vacated by Eliot “The Anointed One” Spitzer, who will probably win (in a humiliating landslide) his bid to become our next Governor. Battling for the position of Attorney General is Republican Jeanine Pirro and Democrat Andrew Cuomo (son of the former Governor). Not just Spitzer but Bill Clinton himself have thrown their support to Cuomo. No wonder. He started his political career working on his father’s campaign, and then in his administration, then served as Clinton’s HUD secretary in both terms of his administration. His resume looks good on paper, but as far as experience relevant to the position, Pirro has much more. She has been a prosecutor since 1978 and served three four-year terms as Westchester District Attorney, while Cuomo has mainly ridden his family name (straight into the White House), and worked for non-profit organizations. He calls himself “a fighter for social justice.” Which is all fine and good, but as Spitzer should know, the position of New York Attorney General requires someone with a lot of legal experience who is going to come in and kick some serious ass, and not a lightweight like Cuomo. And because this is the Bluest of the Blue States, he is going to win.

But wait, there’s more. There’s always more. Both candidates come with closets full of skeletons, all of which are being rattled, Pirro is under investigation. Not for anything as heinous as misusing public funds or sending subordinates pornographic instant messages. No. She is being investigated because of her unfortunate choice of mate. Hubby is a convicted felon who spent 11 months in the can for tax fraud. But her signature was also on the tax forms. Beyond all of that Geraldine Ferraro-like inconvenience, she suspected her loving husband of cheating on her and hired a private detective to investigate him. And somehow this makes her the bad guy?

Cuomo isn’t so squeaky-clean, either. He endured a messy tabloid divorce from his philandering Kennedy-family wife. He’s been accused of taking $87,000 in funds for speeches he made while HUD secretary, and, most recently, of accepting campaign contributions from Mark Green’s brother, who is backing racetrack expansion in New York, something Cuomo claimed to be fervently against.

And we still have a week to go.