Let's Keep The "Thanks" In "Thanksgiving"

I’m protesting.

I’m protesting the utterly ridiculous commercialism and consequential lunacy that has taken over this country, fueled by Bill Gates and Steve Jobs and Best Buy and Target and all the other big-box retailers that have followed their lead.

I’ve blogged before about the advancement of the Marketing and Advertising Calendar, how all of the holidays have been accelerated so that Back To School happens in July, Halloween happens in September, Thanksgiving happens in October, and so on.

But now it appears that Thanksgiving has disappeared altogether. It’s become a rushed parade of “How To Make The Perfect Turkey” spreads in women’s’ magazines, stacks of jellied cranberry sauce cans and holiday TV specials that are more about stunt-casting for sweeps-week than the holiday. What I adore about this simple, non-religious holiday where we give thanks, eat tons of food then spend the rest of the weekend stuck in airport security lines is in danger of becoming lost in a swirl of Black Friday sales, mall traffic and stores opening at ungodly hours when we should all be sleeping off our turkey and pumpkin pie.

I have nothing against Best Buy and Target. I spend (or used to spend) a lot of money there. But first, why the hell are lunatics standing in line (in the rain, by the way) in the middle of the night in front of these stores to buy an overpriced videogame system when, if they had a modicum of common sense, they could have pre-ordered it on-line or…oh, my God, actually WAITED to buy a product that I guarantee would have been available somewhere after the craziness has passed.

Trust me. The world will keep spinning around if your kid doesn’t get the new PlayStation for Christmas. I didn’t get everything I asked for, either. Of course, I’ve been in therapy for the last two years, but that’s beside the point.

But why are these stores opening while it’s still dark outside? And what’s wrong with waiting until the leftovers are gone to start your holiday shopping? (and in case you haven’t heard, Wal-Mart employees will now be greeting you with “Merry Christmas,” instead of “Happy Holidays.” Get ready for the picketing to begin.) Have we become that crazed with multi-tasking that we no longer know how to relax, kick back for a few days? Or are we so programmed to do what all of our other fellow lemmings do that once the parade of sales are announced, it kicks off something in our brain that repeats, over and over, “Must go to the mall…must go to the mall…” The parade of cars pointing toward Wal-Mart makes me think of aliens being called up to the mother ship.

So I’m protesting. I have not, nor will I go to the mall this weekend. I’m spending the holiday watching football and recovering from sugar coma, the way it should be.

Call me un-American. But I can live with that.