Politically incorrect holiday announcement

Christmas.

There, sue me, I said it. Christmas. Christmas, Christmas, Christmas, Jesus, and God.

As an agnostic Unitarian Jew, the media think I should be taking to the streets with a pitchfork over the use of these words in public. But I could care less what you call the holiday (as long as it involves cookies and presents). I don’t cringe when I see an evergreen decorated with twinkling lights. I don’t flood with outrage if I’m sent a card with “Merry Christmas” written inside. (Frankly, I’m pleased to be thought of at all) And a jolly fat man in a red velvet suit, while a little disturbing when you think about it, especially how many children he visits in just one night, it does not strike me with as much fear as say, Michael Jackson does.

But I realize that I’m in an infinitesimally small minority. I had no right to demand the word “God” be struck from the Pledge of Allegiance (in school I merely omitted the word and nobody noticed) And I have no right to tell Christians they can’t have a living nativity scene in the center of town.

As long as the sheep don’t crap on my lawn, I’m OK with it.

Besides, Winter Solstice was being celebrated long before Jesus picked up his first hammer. The holiday was co-opted by Christians so that the Pagans, already lighting candles and drunk on mead, would barely notice the change in the carol librettos.

Happy Generic Winter Holiday of your choice. And don’t forget the cookies.