Saturday, February 10, 2007

Where to start, where to start…

Pelosi One

You might have heard this one already, but the current administration originally agreed to give Nancy Pelosi access to an Air Force jet and services “to the equivalent of” what was used by her predecessor, Dennis Hastert. Hastert used a small Air Force commuter-sized jet to get from Washington to his district in Illinois.

But apparently this was not good enough for the current speaker. Or, shall I say, big enough to provide room for her staff, delegation, family members and various hangers-on to be shuttled back and forth non-stop from San Francisco to Washington or wherever else she would like to take them at the taxpayer’s expense. But the type of military jet she wants not only seats 120 and has a conference facility, an entertainment system and luxury sleeping accommodations for the primary passenger, but Air Force models that can fly from Washington to San Francisco non-stop are in short supply, as most of them currently carry various things back and forth from Iraq.

Even though Rep. John P. Murtha, chairman of House Appropriations subcommittee on defense, urged those Pentagon officials who grant such requests to give House Speaker Pelosi what she wanted, Pelosi’s office immediately accused them of sexism for not granting it soon enough.

Republican critics say she’s abusing the perks of her power, and have also called this request, if granted, “a flying Lincoln Bedroom.” And that it would be the equivalent of the same type of Air Force jet service that the president and vice-president are provided, essentially making this craft “Pelosi One,” said republican Rep. Patrick McHenry

And sources say that it’s likely that she’ll get it.

And I don’t know why she shouldn’t. Hastert only had to fly to Illinois. California is a heck of a lot farther away. Even though Bill Clinton might have been able to get away with touching down on tarmac to get a haircut, Pelosi would never get away with such a stunt.

So why make her stop to refuel?

Anyway…the media ought to leave this story alone and get on to more important news, like…

Enough already! You'd think she was a Kennedy!

Anna Nicole Smith’s whole life has been a tragedy. The media have been falling all over themselves to get dirt, to get autopsy results…the crowd of microphones waiting for the coroner was so dense I wondered who was covering the war.

The real tragedy is a child now bereft of a mother, a step-brother, and with her paternity a question mark.

My opinion is that Zsa Zsa’s husband is claiming parentage only because she needs the money. And it’s been too long since she’s punched out a cop, so she also needs the attention.

And it’s only going to get uglier.

Speaking of not having to stop to refuel…or love means never having to pepper-spray your rivals

John Glenn was the first astronaut to orbit the earth. Neil Armstrong was the first astronaut to land on the moon. Sally Ride was the first woman astronaut in space. But Lisa Nowick has the honor of becoming the first astronaut to be charged with a major crime. As well as the first astronaut, as far as the media knows, to drive from Houston to Orlando wearing a trench coat, wig and a diapers (so she wouldn’t have to stop for restroom breaks) so she could apparently do bodily harm to a romantic rival with a BB gun, pepper spray, a steel mallet, a knife, rubber tubing and large plastic garbage bags. And that’s only what they caught her with.

According to police, Nowak saw Claire Shipman as a rival for the affections of fellow astronaut William Oefelein. Nowak, a divorced mother of three, trained with the unmarried Oefelein but claimed not to have a romantic relationship with him. But, she claimed, they were more than friends. And, when arrested, was armed with e-mails between Oefelein and Shipman and a love letter Nowak wrote to Oefelein. And Nowak claimed she’d only driven that distance to “talk” to Shipman.

"If you were just going to talk to someone, I don't know that you would need a wig, a trench coat, an air cartridge BB gun and pepper spray," according to Orlando police sergeant Beth Jones.

Hey, maybe if she had Nancy Pelosi’s jet, she wouldn’t have needed the diapers.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

I think you meant half brother?

Nate said...

Just for the record:

I am not the father of Anna-Nicole's baby.

Laurie Boris said...

Yeah. What she said.

And aaa, thanks for that. That's one less paternity test that will have to be done.