Betting the House

Yet more evidence has surfaced that the Golden Age of the American Empire is on the wane (like Anna Nicole Smith isn’t enough of a clue). You can bet on how much monetary damage a pending natural disaster (or, for those big spenders, on an entire hurricane season) will inflict by putting your money into hedge funds that invest in property catastrophe reinsurance companies. That’s the Wall Street way. It’s also legal. But if your morals are a little more fluid, and you don’t want to get that specific (say, you just want to plunk down a quick bet on how many Category Three storms will hit the US this year), you can place a “hurricane bet” at on-line casinos.

According to an AP article, (read the rest of the article at http://www.livescience.com/forcesofnature/ap_060705_hurricane_bet.html) “U.S. casinos do not offer hurricane bets, and the Justice Department says online gambling is illegal, but that doesn't stop devotees, a few thousand of whom have placed hurricane wagers with online casinos based in other countries.

‘Betting on baseball gets boring. You're looking for a little action every now and then,’ said Ken Moore, who plunked down $75 in hurricane bets. ‘Betting on the hurricanes, I couldn't resist it.'

Moore, a graphic designer from Quincy, Mass., will make a profit of about $72.50 if exactly two hurricanes of Category 3 or higher strike the United States this season. He will make $5 if one hits. If none hit or three or more hit, he loses. Category 3 storms have sustained winds of at least 111 mph.”

Which is pretty damned sad, considering the number of people on the Gulf Coast still living in FEMA trailers. How much you want to bet that Ray Nagen is Googling around under an assumed name trying to get a piece of that action?

I was talking about this with Husband and he said, “But America was founded on gambling.”

And I suppose he’s right. Columbus, backed by Isabel and Ferdinand’s bounty, bet that he could find a westward route to Asia and bring back the riches it held. Even after his famous voyages landed him in the Caribbean and thereabouts, he still believed that he’d found Asia. So it not only proves that the New World was founded on a bet but that some people will believe anything.

That was the way of the explorer. Taking off to the Great Unknown on someone else’s dime then giving the backer a split of the bounty. Then those who followed to colonize gambled high stakes for their voyages – with their lives, with their livelihoods, with their futures. Some made it, some didn’t. That’s the roll of the dice for the promise of streets filled with gold and a life without somebody sweeping through your village on a regular basis and cutting your head off with a scimitar.

When did this promise of a better life devolve into a culture that created the National Enquirer and Brittany Spears? When did a sea of polite men in shirtsleeves and hats at sports stadiums become a beer-spilling mob that sets fire to cars when their team wins?

I’m still pondering this one. But it’s probably a safe bet that you can put money down on the answer at an on-line casino based in Bangkok.